Ever want to say something so badly that you almost need to bite your tongue in order for the words not to spew out uncontrollably? I have. In fact it happened yesterday. I wanted to verbalize a few choice words so much that I obsessed over just the right presentation and choice of words. I rehearsed them over and over again in my mind to make sure I got it right the first time. Yet when I saw this person, I froze. I chose to clam up and say as few words as possible in order to maintain peace.
This morning, I second guessed my actions of not telling the person what I thought of their past behavior. Was I right or was I wrong not to speak? I came to the conclusion (after a discussion with my husband) that yesterday was not the proper venue to verbalize my disappointments. There may come a time in the future where I can sit down with the individual and speak the truth in a loving manner.
In Jesus’ short time on earth, there were plenty of times he chose not to speak when he had every justification to defend his actions. Yet, he chose to be silent. David’s words in the 19th Psalm came to mind as I pen these thoughts. Before I go spewing my anger out on others, I need to be sure those words are appropriate and acceptable in God’s sight. It’s not just about me.