When despair wraps its
Ugly tentacles around my shoulders.
Squeezes, squeezes, then
Squeezes some more.
Intense pressure weighs upon my heart.
Impending doom draws nigh.
Hope dashed—shroud of darkness envelopes.
Guard my heart. But, how?
Decisions made—I have no control.
Acknowledge crushed dreams.
Reject despair.
Yet despair returns full force;
Multiplied with mighty power.
No resolve in sight.
Then I hear a faint whisper,
Tell it to Jesus.
Tell it to Jesus.
There’s no other such a friend or brother,
Tell it to Jesus alone.
Thoughts while sitting on the Amphitheater steps of the Unknown Soldier Tomb:
Oh, the tears, the blood shed
Represented here in this place.
Row after Row after Row
White tombstones
Representing sons, fathers, uncles.
Real live people.
Real live losses.
Days gone by.
Ancestors, family, friends.
What sacrifices!
All to secure my freedom and yours.
Words cannot describe
The debt we owe
To the many who’ve gone on before.
I am humbled, speechless
Driven to my knees.
My only response
Is Thank You.
And then the tears flow.
Been so long busy preparing and traveling on our year-long Great Loop journey that I am sorry I’ve neglected this blog. In the interim, I hope you’ll find, read, comment on our blog link at www.TravelsOfSanctuary.com. Our blog will give you a clue as to what my husband Steve and I have been doing for the last six months.
Steve & Teresa on the deck of Sanctuary
This is day #179 of a potential 365-day trip. Doing the math, I calculate that 182 days will be one-half way through. I can honestly say I am not the same person when Steve and I began on September 3, 2016 back at Lakeshore Yacht Harbour, Muskegon, Michigan.
I’ve been honest with everyone—we are living aboard my dream boat on Steve’s dream trip. We’ve weathered ups and downs. In case you wonder if every day feels like living in Paradise; the answer is no. Many are wonderful and we see beautiful sights such as sunsets, manatees, and Key deer. I can move my body geographically to a warm location, but with the body also comes my mind and soul. All my previous deficiencies and hang ups come along with me. My fears, doubts, worry (I know that I am not supposed to worry), probably even multiplied—they did not automatically magically disappear (wouldn’t that have been sweet?)
Circumstances of life and known people stayed behind for a time. New circumstances, geography, people took their place while on this year long journey. I’m thankful for stay-over visitors we have from time to time. My main source of communication, interaction needs to be found in my husband of 40 years. Other Looper boaters and my surroundings change constantly and sometimes daily. Lately, the mantra I repeat is:
I cannot do this, Lord! I cannot do this without You!
Depending on the day, I may be referring to:
Being stranded on the boat for a few days and nights without leaving while rocking and rolling in a storm trying to remain brave and not get seasick
Washing another dirty dish by hand
High temperatures and humidity feeling ready to pass out
Not seeing my children/grandchildren/friends for months at time
Lack of exercise aboard due to not much square footage and no car to take me away. We rely predominately on our own two feet or bicycles
I constantly remind myself that He is my all in all. The great I AM. Learning to lean into Him as I combat impatience, loneliness, frustration, anger, and physical limitations. God gives me the choice and will to praise His name and be thankful for my many blessings of which there are many if I look around me. God is still in control.
How do you handle loneliness? Frustration and anger? Have you been in a situation where you are at the end of your resources and had to call out to God in desperation? Maybe you are there right now. I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment or question. We can both grow together spiritually.
Blessings to you & your family, Teresa
I leave you with a few choice words from Colossians 3:15, Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging … He says, Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. (Psalm 46:1-3, 10)
If I truly believe that God is my refuge and strength, that He is always ready to help in times of trouble, then why don’t I ask? I’m very good about complaining to others about my troubles, but reluctant to go to Him. Where is the logic is this scenario? That’s probably the problem. I don’t think, but just do. I fail to be still and know that I am God.
Wrangling on the political front during a presidential voting year, mass shootings nationally and internationally, rumblings at home within family and friend relationships all lead to unrest. It’s tough to be still when turmoil rages all around us.
Psalm 46 speaks of unrest … earthquakes, mountains crumble into the sea, oceans roar and foam, mountains tremble as the waters surge! I can see where people would fear for their lives and tremble inside and out. Yet, in the middle of all this turbulence, Scripture reminds me to be still. Know that God is in control; He knows what is happening in a very small corner of my life. This speaks comfort, rest for those of us who tend to worry or fret about circumstances.
What specifically is troubling you today?
In what way can you be still and know that I am God in the midst of your troubling situation?
“The first hour of waking is the rudder that guides the whole day,” Henry W. Beecher.
How do you roll in the morning? My morning usually rolls rather slowly. It takes me a bit to get my bearings and move toward a worthwhile goal. Have you heard the saying, I’d like mornings better if they came earlier in the day? That’s me!
I know this for sure: when I look upward first thing in the morning (even before my feet hit the floor), my day goes so much better. Sometimes it’s only a quick SOS prayer—Lord, help me throughout this day. Prevent my mouth from saying unkind words. Help me see others through Your eyes. Casting my eyes on Scripture or reading through a devotional helps me center my thoughts and mind in pleasant, righteous places. Just may mean the difference between a great day and a horrible-bad one.
What can you do to center your mind on good and right thoughts?
Record how your day went thinking about the time you spent on bullet point #1.
“Do not be afraid to be different from other people. The path I have called you to travel is exquisitely right for you. The more closely you follow My leading, the more fully I can develop your gifts. To follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your desire to please other people. However, your closeness to Me will bless others by enabling you to shine brightly in this dark world,” Jesus Calling.
So that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe—Philippians 2:15.
Are you afraid to be different than other people? I would have to admit that sometimes I am; other times, I don’t have that problem at all. I do wish that I’d fall into the last category more often. When I read the quotes in this post, I understand them to say that being different just for the sake of being different is not entirely what God intended either.
I like the idea of shining brightly in this dark world and shining like a star in the universe. Someone to point others to the True North and bright and morning star. Hope. Renewal. Truth, honesty, justice, lovely praise and virtue.
Shall we strive together to be and model those good behavior patterns, relinquishing the need to people-please, so our gifts can be more fully developed? I’m in, are you?
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style,” Maya Angelou
Baldwin sisters on their trek home. Karen and I nicknamed ourselves the Baldwin sisters–remember The Waltons television show?
Our trip proved a mix of enlightenment, frustration, joy, anger, sadness, sympathy, and loss. We found our dad—at least a shell of who he used to be. His body and mind fails more often than not.
My mind longs to forget the now and return to the then. I choose to remember his quick wit, willingness to help others, when his body moved freely and without constant pain, his insatiable quest for best bargains and love for food.
Dad, we love you and hope and pray only the best for you.
A little boy watched a sculptor begin chiseling a large block of marble. The sculptor worked meticulously until the slab looked like the face of Abraham Lincoln. “How did you do that?” the little boy asked. The sculptor said with a smile, “All I have to do is chip away everything that doesn’t look like Lincoln.”
Writing is a bit like sculpting. I chisel a little bit here; chip away some more over there. The hope being that the written message originally intended is left behind.
As I nurture my “sculpture,” one of the key ingredients being is how to seek and achieve balance in a too-crazy-busy life. So many people and things cry out for our attention these days. Where do you turn? And when do you cry out for help? You’ve probably heard, “Love your neighbor as yourself” before. But have you considered first loving yourself properly in order to love others in your life? My hope is that through my perspective of a brain surgery survivor you, too, will regain control of your mind, body, and soul. One clue is to practice the art of being still.
For now, back to my edits to make my sculpture (i.e. book) excellent and appealing to you the reader! More tips to follow.
